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For those looking to find a love that will last a lifetime, it is important to understand some unhealthy relationship signs as a preventive measure. Some signs of unhealthy relationships are as follows: lack of commitment, lukewarm enthusiasm, avoidance of conflicts and reality, exhausted romance, unforgiveness and harmful activity.
I was in a relationship once where I thought I had found true love, but I was blinded by an avoidance of reality. My friend is a counselor and after I finally saw the light and broke the relationship off with this guy, she told me that she had seen many red flags in the relationship and she had wanted to warn me and would have soon, if I had not broken up with him.
She was leading up to the fact that not only did I avoid the truth that I was in an unhealthy relationship, but that this guy was using me and I was getting hurt in the process and wanted so badly to find a love that would last that I didn’t take the time to stop and think about how I was allowing emotional harm to come into my life. He was a very controlling person and had abusive tendencies. I’m glad that the relationship ended when it did.
We all get into messes now and then, so that’s why those who are trying to find true love need to wise up to the signs of unhealthy relationships, which mostly do start to show up early on in the dating relationship, and protect ourselves from spiritual, emotional and physical harm. In line with this issue of harm, lack of commitment means that the relationship should be over. If your partner can not commit to you and you’ve invested a good amount of time into the relationship, that is not a healthy sign and you need to discuss this with your partner, and if need be, break up.
Unforgiveness is a big unhealthy sign. True love is unconditional and no one is perfect so if your partner is trying to make you live up to some sort of lofty ideal of the perfect mate, get out while you still can. Your partner has no right to expect that from you; no one does. Everyone has faults, including your partner and he or she is not going to find a love that lasts, by treating you that way.
Unrealistic expectations are also unhealthy in a relationship. In the early stages of the dating game, you both can’t stop smiling at each other and you seem to be in la-la land. In your eyes, your partner can do no wrong. That is until the day you realize that he or she is not perfect. And that day is good and should come and is a healthy part of the budding relationship process. If that day never comes for either or both of you, something is wrong. Now, we should never focus on our partner’s faults but on his or her good qualities; however, we need to have a healthy view that our partner is not perfect and neither are we and that is okay. Coming down from the clouds is healthy and it means you are moving into the next emotional bonding stage of the relationship.
A final sign is that there is lukewarm enthusiasm where once there was high energy. Of course, the honeymoon period does end and you are not always going to be in the romance mode, but you should have an excitement when you see your partner enter the room or hear his or her voice on the phone. Lukewarm enthusiasm is not a good sign of a strong commitment. In order to find a love that lasts, consider these signs as you embark on your dating relationships and be careful and trust your instincts.
About the Author:
Allan Tan is an experienced writer on seeking dating, relationships, and advice on how to find a love. He has been writing for many years and has had many articles published. Some of Allan’s most favorite topics to write on include single professionals, mature daters, relationships, and matchmaking.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Find a Love – Unhealthy Relationship Signs